Category: Uncategorized

Lightening and You

The sky sparks bright in a late summer storm

Flashes, cracks, boom

Grey skies, bright in an instant, that slowly fade

Each spark, unique.

The move together as we do, at our own pace

Moving with the thunder

Echoing like our heartbeats

With my head against your chest

As with the storm

Everything fades away

The sun shines

and I have found my peace.

xoxo, Neuro

The Perfect Day

This morning we got up.. you made breakfast… the best bacon… and Cinnamon Toast Crunch cinnamon rolls…

I kissed you in the kitchen.. and I fell even more in love with you.

I can’t wait for weekends like this with you. Waking up next to you.. cuddling in bed… coffee in the mornin. Music playing. Us dancing in the kitchen the dogs and kids and c. playing in the living room

I want this to be our forever… cuddles and morning coffee, dancing in the kitchen.. packing up the car and taking family trips to the beach. On a sunny Saturday morning.

Then biscuits and gravy for breakfast come Sunday.. I want every moment with you.

Thank you for all the love you’ve given me. Everything you do for me. I love you so incredibly much.

Xoxo, neuro

Lust

When do you feel lust? Is it when you find someone attractive? When you have a sexual attraction to someone? Or is it more emotional?

How do you tell the differences between lust and love? What separates the two from one another.. How can you determine how you truly feel about someone.

The issue with this is I have never felt the same way about more than one person. Every love I’ve ever had, every crush, every feelings that I’ve towards someone is different. No two loves are the same.

There are levels of love… stages… but they’re all unique. I think that’s amazing…. And amazingly scary. What you get with one person you wont ever get from another. There are no two loves that you can view as the same. … So is that the same with lust?

Can you have different emotional levels of lust for someone like you do love?? How do you decipher you’re emotions… process everything going on in your head when you are feeling so many things for so many people.

It’s a truly terrifying feeling to have so many feelings for more than one person. You start to doubt if one of them is even real…… is any of it real?

But one is stronger than another…. The attraction is intense.. there’s electricity in your veins when they touch you… forget about when your lips touch… or when their fingers brush your skin….. its a magnetic charge that shocks you and pulls you closer together. Yet at the same time, you feel as complete and calm, and whole, like you never have before.

If there’s one thing i know… It’s that my love for you is the most real thing i could ever feel. That the feelings you make me have.. the emotions that you pull from deep down in the blackest pits of my soul….. there is no faking that… there’s no question in my mind… not a single fraction of a doubt that you belong with me….

The only question that wracks my brain… is do you belong with anyone else? Or is that all just lust… or different loves?

I know the answer to that….. the lust… the love… there’s different ones… and I get that.. but part of me believes that you are my soul mate.. my other half… my missing piece… and no one can replace that.

Xoxo, Neuro

Change

Change is possibly my least favorite thing to experience in life.

I don’t think anyone likes change… if I’m being honest. However, the thing with life is nothing is permanent.. things are constantly changing. Life is changing. I got fired from my job.. for something out of my control. Spent a month and a half with out a job.. and finally accepted a job at my old company..

I’m excited for what the future holds. I’m in a new relationship, I’m about to start a new job, and I’m looking to move out of my current living situation. ‘

Change is scary to me… all of the what ifs.. all of the times that you just don’t know what the future holds. I would rather sit back and know everything thats going to happen that be in the dark of the future.

Hope.

I’ve been going through a lot lately… end of a relationship, rekindling of a friendship, new diagnosis, and new life experiences.. all during a pandemic.

Things are crazy, and I’m not sure how to feel about it. The one thing I do know.. is that I maybe, just maybe might actually be happy. Which is something I haven’t felt in a long time. I never thought I could feel this away again.. not in a million years. But I’m glad I do.

I’m glad I get to experience life.. not feel guilty… and just have a chance to be my self and figure out everything that is.. well, that is me.

All of this gives me hope. And I will do everything in my power to make sure it stays this way.

Xoxo, Neuro

Focus.

It’s time to focus on me. To focus on my well being and on my life. FUCK what everyone says. Fuck what everyone thinks. I will do what I want. Be who I want and be with whomever I fucking want. The ok only one who can co troll my life is me.

Frustration.

I know I dont post much. But that’s going to change. Tonight… im frustrated. I’m freaking frustrated. I dont have many friends. And the ones I do have barely talk to me. Babes asleep and I tried to wake him up to talk to him and I got grunted at and pushed away… im freaking frustrated dude. It’s been almost 2 months since my mom passed away and it’s not getting any easier. I spend my days at work. Cry on the way there. And try and distract my self from being a wreck all day.

Insomnia is a bitch and I hate it. Frustrations a bitch. Lifes a bitch. Everything is a bitch.

Rant over.

Xoxoneuro.