The Little Things

It’s always the little things that we experience that bring me the most joy and peace in my life. Cooking in the kitchen with the love of my life, the thought of getting to come home to her every day for the rest of my life… the looks given across the table..Joking each other because thats how we show each other we love you.

It’s crazy honestly, the connection you can have with someone where just the littlest touch, the slightest look, can give you full body shivers… and make you feel as if you’re floating on cloud 9…

The way I feel with her… is the way I’ve always wanted to be loved. The day I make her my wife will be the best day of my life. The sweetest moment. just like every other moment we’ve ever had together, everything in it’s self is simple. From the way that we joke, to how we cook, to the way we love and crave to be loved.

Every little thing is as easy as breathing.

And god I can’t believe I get to spend these little moments and experience the little things with her.

It’s fucking crazy.

Xoxo, Neuro

Jealousy

Jealousy is such an ugly feeling. It will make the sweetest of women turn vicious in a second… but it’s a valid feeling. Seeing the one you love, be in love with someone else can be tough to deal with.. but we do what we have to and we move on.

What gets my blood boiling is when someone acts out in jealousy… and pulls that “poor me” act.. it pisses me off to. No fucking end. I can’t stand when people decide to try and intimidate, guilt, or whatever else out of jealousy.

It’s just one of those things that gets my anger goin. Ya know?

But you smile, play nice and smoke about it.

You vibe to the music, remember the ones you love, you breathe in the good vibes… and exhale the bullshit.

And you put on your big girl panties and move the fuck on.

End of rant.

Xoxo neuro

Nights Like These

Nights like these are hard to come by. The nights you just exist with the love of your life smoking, Vibing to music, and just living life.

Not just existing

But actually LIVING

it’s fucking crazy.

But god I love nights like these with you.

Xoxo, neuro.

The Perfect Day

This morning we got up.. you made breakfast… the best bacon… and Cinnamon Toast Crunch cinnamon rolls…

I kissed you in the kitchen.. and I fell even more in love with you.

I can’t wait for weekends like this with you. Waking up next to you.. cuddling in bed… coffee in the mornin. Music playing. Us dancing in the kitchen the dogs and kids and c. playing in the living room

I want this to be our forever… cuddles and morning coffee, dancing in the kitchen.. packing up the car and taking family trips to the beach. On a sunny Saturday morning.

Then biscuits and gravy for breakfast come Sunday.. I want every moment with you.

Thank you for all the love you’ve given me. Everything you do for me. I love you so incredibly much.

Xoxo, neuro

Mom

I’m sitting here, with m…she’s cooking breakfast, and I’m drinking coffee and reading. We’re just vibing, smoking, and existing in each other’s company. Every time she approaches me and gives me a kiss… or places her hand on me…. Or just comes to tell me something… it is the best fucking feeling.

She just came up to me and told me that we’re going to have an amazing life together. I couldn’t agree more.

But as I sit here… the only thing that ones to my mind is that I wish you were here to see it. I wish you were here to see the way my life has turned in the past 2 and a half years… I’m finally being true to my self just like you always wanted me to… I’m being me true self… loving my self…. And I have 2 gorgeous, amazing girlfriends that you would absolutely love.

But believe me when I say this… That you would absolutely adore m. I wish I could sit and talk with you,, tell you all about her… she’s the most amazing woman I could have ever asked to love me. She is kind, and sweet, she’s caring, and so fucking beautiful. You would adore everything about her… but you would absolutely love the way she treats me and how genuinely happy I am.

I wish you were here to experience the love, joy, and amazing things that have been happening in my life. I wish you were here to see when we have kids, the life we make for ourselves, and the day that I make her my wife.

HER

She is a body…

She is a soul….

One whom I’ve known for many life times.

She is beauty..

She is strength.

She is absolute perfection in my eyes.

With eyes that glisten in the sunlight, changing shades depending on the life around her… from hazel to bright blue… and my favorite shade of green..

The look she gets when she catches you staring at her…

She is absolute perfection in my eyes.

Her soul is as beautiful as the windows into them..

she is kind.. but she is cautious.

She has known pain… and hurt…

She was been broken and beaten…

Yet she has prevailed.

She is beautiful…

She is bold…

She is the most gorgeous soul mine has ever had the joy of meeting.

I could recognize her through lifetimes..

Know her from just one look…

Time and time again…

In this life and in next…

She is her.

The one I love..

The one whose soul belongs with mine.

The one I will meet in every life.

The one I will cherish the most.

She…. Is my heart… my soul… my other half.. my missing piece…

SHE is YOU

YOU are HER.

Xoxo, Neuro

Mom

I miss you more than words can imagine… I wish you could see the person I am today.. two and a half years after you died.

I wish you could meet someone who’s very important to me. I met the most amazing woman back in January… and she has become the best thing in my world.

I just know you’d love her. For everything she is, for all of her. She is perfection. And she is my other half.

I wish you could be here to see how happy I am and how happy she makes me.

I wish you could see everything I have accomplished and everything I am.

I miss your laugh and the way your tell me “that’s not right” when I’d say something sassy.

I miss the way you’d hold me right whenever something was wrong and you’d make sure I was okay. You’re my best friend. My favorite person. And love you endlessly.

I wish you were here.

I know it’s selfish but I wish I had you back.

I hate that you left me.

No matter how old you get you always need your mom.

I love you.

Xoxo neuro

Lust

When do you feel lust? Is it when you find someone attractive? When you have a sexual attraction to someone? Or is it more emotional?

How do you tell the differences between lust and love? What separates the two from one another.. How can you determine how you truly feel about someone.

The issue with this is I have never felt the same way about more than one person. Every love I’ve ever had, every crush, every feelings that I’ve towards someone is different. No two loves are the same.

There are levels of love… stages… but they’re all unique. I think that’s amazing…. And amazingly scary. What you get with one person you wont ever get from another. There are no two loves that you can view as the same. … So is that the same with lust?

Can you have different emotional levels of lust for someone like you do love?? How do you decipher you’re emotions… process everything going on in your head when you are feeling so many things for so many people.

It’s a truly terrifying feeling to have so many feelings for more than one person. You start to doubt if one of them is even real…… is any of it real?

But one is stronger than another…. The attraction is intense.. there’s electricity in your veins when they touch you… forget about when your lips touch… or when their fingers brush your skin….. its a magnetic charge that shocks you and pulls you closer together. Yet at the same time, you feel as complete and calm, and whole, like you never have before.

If there’s one thing i know… It’s that my love for you is the most real thing i could ever feel. That the feelings you make me have.. the emotions that you pull from deep down in the blackest pits of my soul….. there is no faking that… there’s no question in my mind… not a single fraction of a doubt that you belong with me….

The only question that wracks my brain… is do you belong with anyone else? Or is that all just lust… or different loves?

I know the answer to that….. the lust… the love… there’s different ones… and I get that.. but part of me believes that you are my soul mate.. my other half… my missing piece… and no one can replace that.

Xoxo, Neuro