The Perfect Day

This morning we got up.. you made breakfast… the best bacon… and Cinnamon Toast Crunch cinnamon rolls…

I kissed you in the kitchen.. and I fell even more in love with you.

I can’t wait for weekends like this with you. Waking up next to you.. cuddling in bed… coffee in the mornin. Music playing. Us dancing in the kitchen the dogs and kids and c. playing in the living room

I want this to be our forever… cuddles and morning coffee, dancing in the kitchen.. packing up the car and taking family trips to the beach. On a sunny Saturday morning.

Then biscuits and gravy for breakfast come Sunday.. I want every moment with you.

Thank you for all the love you’ve given me. Everything you do for me. I love you so incredibly much.

Xoxo, neuro

HER

She is a body…

She is a soul….

One whom I’ve known for many life times.

She is beauty..

She is strength.

She is absolute perfection in my eyes.

With eyes that glisten in the sunlight, changing shades depending on the life around her… from hazel to bright blue… and my favorite shade of green..

The look she gets when she catches you staring at her…

She is absolute perfection in my eyes.

Her soul is as beautiful as the windows into them..

she is kind.. but she is cautious.

She has known pain… and hurt…

She was been broken and beaten…

Yet she has prevailed.

She is beautiful…

She is bold…

She is the most gorgeous soul mine has ever had the joy of meeting.

I could recognize her through lifetimes..

Know her from just one look…

Time and time again…

In this life and in next…

She is her.

The one I love..

The one whose soul belongs with mine.

The one I will meet in every life.

The one I will cherish the most.

She…. Is my heart… my soul… my other half.. my missing piece…

SHE is YOU

YOU are HER.

Xoxo, Neuro

SHE IS LOVE.

The look in her eyes when she answers the phone and sees that it’s me.

The way her smile brightens when i make a goofy face.

She is love.

The way she laughs at the dump things I say.

The way she blushes when I call her out on her shit.

…when i tell her “i love you” and he smile grabs ahold of her eyes, making her eyes shine a deep green, with under-hues of blue.

She is love.

The way her light exudes from her soul… She is a master at captivating me.

Her inner beauty shines brighter than any other soul could.

She is beautiful on the outside, even though she doesn’t know it.

She is patient.

She is kind.

She is passionate.

She is strong.

SHE is LOVE.

Xoxo, Neuro

The Fight

When you love someone, you CRAVE their presence, you CRAVE their place in your world, you CRAVE the sound of their voice, the sensation of their touch. You CRAVE the reaction you have to their being, their looks, their taste, their love.

When you love someone.. you don’t GIVE UP. You don’t FORGET to reply, you don’t FORCE yourself to spend time with them, or DREAD spending the day with them. When you love someone, BEING with them, it’s as easy as BREATHING.

And no… this isn’t me saying that when you’re in love with someone everything is sunshine and rainbows… it’s me saying that DESPITE the fights, the arguments, the disagreements, the pain, the struggles you go through, everything that life throws at you…DESPITE all of the bad times.. when you’re with them everything will be okay… EVENTUALLY.

When you love someone.. you MAKE TIME for them, you CHOOSE to be with them, to let them in. When you love someone.. you CONFIDE in them, come to them with your troubles and you HOPE and PRAY that they respect and trust you enough to do the same.

When you love someone… every day is a CHOICE… everyday is a FIGHT between doing what’s best for yourself, and the one you love. When you love someone, you FIGHT for that love you share, you FIGHT for yourself, and you fight FOR each other.

When you love someone… you DON’T fight EACH OTHER.

But when you love someone… you can’t forget who you are. Because when you forget who you are… you forget why everything started.. you forget the way things should be.. and you let things go.. you give up on yourself and them.. you give up on the relationship you built together.

PLEASE. DON’T GIVE UP.

XOXO, NEURO

It’s Been A While… (Warning Word Vomit)

Thee past few months have been a crazy roller coaster ride. Works been crazy, working on my new relationship, applying for schools… Everything seems like it’s constantly moving faster than ever before.

I don’t remember the last time I’ve sat down and wrote anything. My mental health took a turn for the worst, and it was a struggle to wake up in the morning, a struggle to shower, a struggle to do the most basic tasks. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that I couldn’t let down the people I love. I knew that if I stayed in bed, if I gave up on life, that I wouldn’t be able to live with my self knowing that I disappointed the ones i love most in this crazy life.

Unfortunately the thing that comes to my mind next… is that even though I’m so worried about letting down the people I love.. the only personI can really count on is me. There’s no one else who will always have my back, who will be there for me no matter what.

I’ve always put everything i have, put my all into whatever significant other that I’m with at the moment. I can’t explain how amazing it is to sit here, next to my current S.O. And feel at ease.. that no matter what,,, they are helping me be the best me I can be.. They have made me realize that I need to get up out of bed, for me. I need to push to do the things that scare me.. for no one but myself. I need to do the things I want to do, do the things that I know that I want out of life, that will make me happy because no one else will do it for me.

I’m using this as a pledge to myself, that no matter what. I will apply. To colleges. I will get my degree. I’m going to write, and publish my books, and I am going to do everything I dream of. Make everything that I want happen, because of me. Because it’s what makes me happy. Because its what I want out of life. And not for what I think will impress or make the people I love happy.

XOXO, Neuro

Change

Change is possibly my least favorite thing to experience in life.

I don’t think anyone likes change… if I’m being honest. However, the thing with life is nothing is permanent.. things are constantly changing. Life is changing. I got fired from my job.. for something out of my control. Spent a month and a half with out a job.. and finally accepted a job at my old company..

I’m excited for what the future holds. I’m in a new relationship, I’m about to start a new job, and I’m looking to move out of my current living situation. ‘

Change is scary to me… all of the what ifs.. all of the times that you just don’t know what the future holds. I would rather sit back and know everything thats going to happen that be in the dark of the future.

The Uncertainty of Love

After 6 months of being single.. I can finally stomach the idea of maybe falling in love again.. key word… MAYBE.

Love is a weird feeling.. the excited head rush.. the butterflies.. the feeling of being home.. safe.. and cared for.. all from being around one person. It’s a strange feeling when you’re truly not used to feeling it..

Some people say that I’m the feeling of love comes and goes. That you can fall out of love as quickly as you can fall into it. But to me.. if you fall out of it that quickly.. was it even love?

That’s what truly haunts me the most.. the uncertainty of feelings.. you they truly feel the same way? Could I marry this person? How would I feel of they just disappeared from my life? The questions that follow the thought of love.. they bring a rise of uncertainty to the idea of love. Is it worth it?

Is the possibility of love worth the uncertainty of losing yourself, losing everything you feel for a person? How do you know when to take that plung?

These are the questions that radiate through my mind as I think about love.

Xoxo Neuro

Hope.

I’ve been going through a lot lately… end of a relationship, rekindling of a friendship, new diagnosis, and new life experiences.. all during a pandemic.

Things are crazy, and I’m not sure how to feel about it. The one thing I do know.. is that I maybe, just maybe might actually be happy. Which is something I haven’t felt in a long time. I never thought I could feel this away again.. not in a million years. But I’m glad I do.

I’m glad I get to experience life.. not feel guilty… and just have a chance to be my self and figure out everything that is.. well, that is me.

All of this gives me hope. And I will do everything in my power to make sure it stays this way.

Xoxo, Neuro

Life.

Today is January 1st, 2021 and I CHOOSE to live MY life as I see fit. Not how my spouse sees fit, not my parents, or my siblings. ME. I am in control and I demand that I will take my life by the reigns and make it the best one I can. I will not be subject to someone else controlling my moves, my day to day actions, my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions. I promise to my self that I am here for me, for my life, and for the future that is ahead of me. I will NOT put my self down. I will NOT take my self for granted. I will NOT let my self fall through the cracks of this universe with out putting my mark on this world.

But first, What is life?

Life. The thing we are given, not the thing we choose. Well, technically speaking. Life is the thing that we are given from the moment our parents do the deed, to the moment our life washes away. We did not chose to be here, to be a form of life on this planet we call home. Some one else chose this life for us, but once we are given this life it is not something to be taken lightly. We only have one… at a time. Some people believe in reincarnation, while others do not and that is completely up to you what you believe. None the less what ever you believe it is important to take this life we have been given and do the best we can.

We must do the best we can, not for our spouse, or for our parents, but for ourselves. This is the life we have been given, and it has been given to us for one reason or another but it is OURS. Do not take this life for granted, you chose what you make of it. CHOOSE to be happy, CHOOSE to have love. love for this life,. Love for yourself. Love your mind, your body, your soul. You only have one, and what happens if you waste the only life you have? You end up not wanting, not choosing to push foreword, not choosing to continue living this wonderful life you were given.

Starting today I promise my self that I will not judge my body, my mind, or my self worth. I am a QUEEN. I am BEAUTIFUL. I am WORTHY of LOVE and COMPASSION. And so are you. Hold your head up high, show your self the love and compassion that you deserve.

Xoxo Neuro

Stress.

I haven’t posted in a bit because I’ve been going through a lot. I’m switching meds and this change has had some bad side effects. Today I had an extremely bad panic attack that almost ended my marriage… and that was scary. The littlest things are making me irritable and it scares me…

Can anyone else relate?

Xoxo💕🐨💕