When all hope is lost, it’s like a waving crashing over you.. over.. and over again.. unable to breathe. Just sinking deeper into the abyss that is that life you’ve dealt yourself.
There are no life jackets; no floaties.. nothing keeping you from going under.
What does one do when all hope is lost and there’s nothing else to do.. but fall under and let it all slip away.
Xoxo, Neuro
I never thought I’d be truly grateful for the life I have. But here I am.
Happy. Whole. At peace. And with the love of my life.
Damn that feels good to say.
Xoxo neuro
It’s always the little things that we experience that bring me the most joy and peace in my life. Cooking in the kitchen with the love of my life, the thought of getting to come home to her every day for the rest of my life… the looks given across the table..Joking each other because thats how we show each other we love you.
It’s crazy honestly, the connection you can have with someone where just the littlest touch, the slightest look, can give you full body shivers… and make you feel as if you’re floating on cloud 9…
The way I feel with her… is the way I’ve always wanted to be loved. The day I make her my wife will be the best day of my life. The sweetest moment. just like every other moment we’ve ever had together, everything in it’s self is simple. From the way that we joke, to how we cook, to the way we love and crave to be loved.
Every little thing is as easy as breathing.
And god I can’t believe I get to spend these little moments and experience the little things with her.
It’s fucking crazy.
Xoxo, Neuro
Jealousy is such an ugly feeling. It will make the sweetest of women turn vicious in a second… but it’s a valid feeling. Seeing the one you love, be in love with someone else can be tough to deal with.. but we do what we have to and we move on.
What gets my blood boiling is when someone acts out in jealousy… and pulls that “poor me” act.. it pisses me off to. No fucking end. I can’t stand when people decide to try and intimidate, guilt, or whatever else out of jealousy.
It’s just one of those things that gets my anger goin. Ya know?
But you smile, play nice and smoke about it.
You vibe to the music, remember the ones you love, you breathe in the good vibes… and exhale the bullshit.
And you put on your big girl panties and move the fuck on.
End of rant.
Xoxo neuro
Just so you know… the feelings I have right now… the emotions I’m feeling. I could live like this forever. And always be happy.
Xox, neuro
Nights like these are hard to come by. The nights you just exist with the love of your life smoking, Vibing to music, and just living life.
Not just existing
But actually LIVING
it’s fucking crazy.
But god I love nights like these with you.
Xoxo, neuro.
This morning we got up.. you made breakfast… the best bacon… and Cinnamon Toast Crunch cinnamon rolls…
I kissed you in the kitchen.. and I fell even more in love with you.
I can’t wait for weekends like this with you. Waking up next to you.. cuddling in bed… coffee in the mornin. Music playing. Us dancing in the kitchen the dogs and kids and c. playing in the living room
I want this to be our forever… cuddles and morning coffee, dancing in the kitchen.. packing up the car and taking family trips to the beach. On a sunny Saturday morning.
Then biscuits and gravy for breakfast come Sunday.. I want every moment with you.
Thank you for all the love you’ve given me. Everything you do for me. I love you so incredibly much.
Xoxo, neuro
The look in her eyes when she answers the phone and sees that it’s me.
The way her smile brightens when i make a goofy face.
She is love.
The way she laughs at the dump things I say.
The way she blushes when I call her out on her shit.
…when i tell her “i love you” and he smile grabs ahold of her eyes, making her eyes shine a deep green, with under-hues of blue.
She is love.
The way her light exudes from her soul… She is a master at captivating me.
Her inner beauty shines brighter than any other soul could.
She is beautiful on the outside, even though she doesn’t know it.
She is patient.
She is kind.
She is passionate.
She is strong.
SHE is LOVE.
Xoxo, Neuro
When you love someone, you CRAVE their presence, you CRAVE their place in your world, you CRAVE the sound of their voice, the sensation of their touch. You CRAVE the reaction you have to their being, their looks, their taste, their love.
When you love someone.. you don’t GIVE UP. You don’t FORGET to reply, you don’t FORCE yourself to spend time with them, or DREAD spending the day with them. When you love someone, BEING with them, it’s as easy as BREATHING.
And no… this isn’t me saying that when you’re in love with someone everything is sunshine and rainbows… it’s me saying that DESPITE the fights, the arguments, the disagreements, the pain, the struggles you go through, everything that life throws at you…DESPITE all of the bad times.. when you’re with them everything will be okay… EVENTUALLY.
When you love someone.. you MAKE TIME for them, you CHOOSE to be with them, to let them in. When you love someone.. you CONFIDE in them, come to them with your troubles and you HOPE and PRAY that they respect and trust you enough to do the same.
When you love someone… every day is a CHOICE… everyday is a FIGHT between doing what’s best for yourself, and the one you love. When you love someone, you FIGHT for that love you share, you FIGHT for yourself, and you fight FOR each other.
When you love someone… you DON’T fight EACH OTHER.
But when you love someone… you can’t forget who you are. Because when you forget who you are… you forget why everything started.. you forget the way things should be.. and you let things go.. you give up on yourself and them.. you give up on the relationship you built together.
PLEASE. DON’T GIVE UP.
XOXO, NEURO
Thee past few months have been a crazy roller coaster ride. Works been crazy, working on my new relationship, applying for schools… Everything seems like it’s constantly moving faster than ever before.
I don’t remember the last time I’ve sat down and wrote anything. My mental health took a turn for the worst, and it was a struggle to wake up in the morning, a struggle to shower, a struggle to do the most basic tasks. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that I couldn’t let down the people I love. I knew that if I stayed in bed, if I gave up on life, that I wouldn’t be able to live with my self knowing that I disappointed the ones i love most in this crazy life.
Unfortunately the thing that comes to my mind next… is that even though I’m so worried about letting down the people I love.. the only personI can really count on is me. There’s no one else who will always have my back, who will be there for me no matter what.
I’ve always put everything i have, put my all into whatever significant other that I’m with at the moment. I can’t explain how amazing it is to sit here, next to my current S.O. And feel at ease.. that no matter what,,, they are helping me be the best me I can be.. They have made me realize that I need to get up out of bed, for me. I need to push to do the things that scare me.. for no one but myself. I need to do the things I want to do, do the things that I know that I want out of life, that will make me happy because no one else will do it for me.
I’m using this as a pledge to myself, that no matter what. I will apply. To colleges. I will get my degree. I’m going to write, and publish my books, and I am going to do everything I dream of. Make everything that I want happen, because of me. Because it’s what makes me happy. Because its what I want out of life. And not for what I think will impress or make the people I love happy.
XOXO, Neuro
Neuro-dust 