Tag: mental health

All Hope Is Lost

When all hope is lost, it’s like a waving crashing over you.. over.. and over again.. unable to breathe. Just sinking deeper into the abyss that is that life you’ve dealt yourself.

There are no life jackets; no floaties.. nothing keeping you from going under.

What does one do when all hope is lost and there’s nothing else to do.. but fall under and let it all slip away.

Xoxo, Neuro

I want to be loved.

I want to be loved like there’s no one else in the world that compares to me.

I want to be loved like there’s no other way to live.

I want to be loved…

I want to be loved by someone so genuine that you can’t even imagine what you were thinking when you were with someone else.

There is no one else.

That’s the love I crave and desire.

A burning sensation so intense that I might die if I don’t receive it.

I want to be loved.

Xoxo, Neuro

Stuck

There are many times in life we feel stuck. Physically, emotionally, mentally… It’s a feeling that we all have felt before. It drains us, makes us feel inadequate, helpless, hopeless. Not knowing where to go next, or what move to make.

Feeling stuck to me is one of the worst feelings I can have. Physically stuck? I find a way out, reach out for help, and continue moving forward. Emotionally stuck? I talk to my therapist, or my best friend, or as you’ve all witnessed here, I write through my emotions and continue on my happy way. Mentally? Well, again… I talk it out, write it out, or work through it in my own way.

Today though, is one of the worse ways I could ever feel stuck. I feel stuck inside myself.

I feel like I’m trapped inside my brain, inside my head, inside this body… but I’m not really stuck.. I mean I am.. my soul is in this body until I die, or whatever it is you believe. But it’s much more than that today. I feel like I’m trapped inside my own mind, stuck with the intrusive thoughts, the darkness. I am trapped deep into the unbearable caves of my mind just searching for a way out.

How does one get out of her own mind?

Well, that’s a fun one isn’t it? music, talking to friends, going out, painting, spending time in nature, working out, sex.

All of these things usually help me get out of my mind.

But, what do you do when nothing works? When you don’t know how to move on from the things haunting you in your own brain?

When everything you try, every moment of life around you just hurt more than help. When everything outside of your mind triggers the darkness inside?

I wish I knew how to help myself. I wish I knew how to continue on, without hurting this much.

But how do you come back from feeling so numb, yet so hurt. Even worse when you continue to just hurt yourself with every thought that passes through your mind. When even the good things, the things that you enjoy in the deepest part of your soul, the people you love more than anything in the world, just don’t bring you any kind of rest from the pain inside your own mind?

Right now.. more than any other time.. I wish I knew.

xoxo, Neuro

Her Grace

Her smile lights up the space

The way her eyes shine makes my heart race

Her curves like honey…

I want to taste.

Her skin.. so soft..

I want to dip right in

Her soul so pure

Her brain quite a mess

No one deserves that love more

Than she whom I long to caress

Xoxo, Neuro

Hope

Nothing gives you hope like things finally falling into place. You find love, you build something with someone special.. and you plan for the future

You let yourself hope again for the first time in a long time.. and suddenly everything falls into place.

You then realize that all of your hope is worth it because you have the power to change your future and build a life just the way you hope for it.

And maybe.. just maybe.. this time.. you’ll be glad you help on hope to the things that bring your soul to life.

The Little Things

It’s always the little things that we experience that bring me the most joy and peace in my life. Cooking in the kitchen with the love of my life, the thought of getting to come home to her every day for the rest of my life… the looks given across the table..Joking each other because thats how we show each other we love you.

It’s crazy honestly, the connection you can have with someone where just the littlest touch, the slightest look, can give you full body shivers… and make you feel as if you’re floating on cloud 9…

The way I feel with her… is the way I’ve always wanted to be loved. The day I make her my wife will be the best day of my life. The sweetest moment. just like every other moment we’ve ever had together, everything in it’s self is simple. From the way that we joke, to how we cook, to the way we love and crave to be loved.

Every little thing is as easy as breathing.

And god I can’t believe I get to spend these little moments and experience the little things with her.

It’s fucking crazy.

Xoxo, Neuro

Jealousy

Jealousy is such an ugly feeling. It will make the sweetest of women turn vicious in a second… but it’s a valid feeling. Seeing the one you love, be in love with someone else can be tough to deal with.. but we do what we have to and we move on.

What gets my blood boiling is when someone acts out in jealousy… and pulls that “poor me” act.. it pisses me off to. No fucking end. I can’t stand when people decide to try and intimidate, guilt, or whatever else out of jealousy.

It’s just one of those things that gets my anger goin. Ya know?

But you smile, play nice and smoke about it.

You vibe to the music, remember the ones you love, you breathe in the good vibes… and exhale the bullshit.

And you put on your big girl panties and move the fuck on.

End of rant.

Xoxo neuro