Nights like these are hard to come by. The nights you just exist with the love of your life smoking, Vibing to music, and just living life.
Not just existing
But actually LIVING
it’s fucking crazy.
But god I love nights like these with you.
Xoxo, neuro.
This morning we got up.. you made breakfast… the best bacon… and Cinnamon Toast Crunch cinnamon rolls…
I kissed you in the kitchen.. and I fell even more in love with you.
I can’t wait for weekends like this with you. Waking up next to you.. cuddling in bed… coffee in the mornin. Music playing. Us dancing in the kitchen the dogs and kids and c. playing in the living room
I want this to be our forever… cuddles and morning coffee, dancing in the kitchen.. packing up the car and taking family trips to the beach. On a sunny Saturday morning.
Then biscuits and gravy for breakfast come Sunday.. I want every moment with you.
Thank you for all the love you’ve given me. Everything you do for me. I love you so incredibly much.
Xoxo, neuro
She is a body…
She is a soul….
One whom I’ve known for many life times.
She is beauty..
She is strength.
She is absolute perfection in my eyes.
With eyes that glisten in the sunlight, changing shades depending on the life around her… from hazel to bright blue… and my favorite shade of green..
The look she gets when she catches you staring at her…
She is absolute perfection in my eyes.
Her soul is as beautiful as the windows into them..
she is kind.. but she is cautious.
She has known pain… and hurt…
She was been broken and beaten…
Yet she has prevailed.
She is beautiful…
She is bold…
She is the most gorgeous soul mine has ever had the joy of meeting.
I could recognize her through lifetimes..
Know her from just one look…
Time and time again…
In this life and in next…
She is her.
The one I love..
The one whose soul belongs with mine.
The one I will meet in every life.
The one I will cherish the most.
She…. Is my heart… my soul… my other half.. my missing piece…
SHE is YOU
YOU are HER.
Xoxo, Neuro
I miss you more than words can imagine… I wish you could see the person I am today.. two and a half years after you died.
I wish you could meet someone who’s very important to me. I met the most amazing woman back in January… and she has become the best thing in my world.
I just know you’d love her. For everything she is, for all of her. She is perfection. And she is my other half.
I wish you could be here to see how happy I am and how happy she makes me.
I wish you could see everything I have accomplished and everything I am.
I miss your laugh and the way your tell me “that’s not right” when I’d say something sassy.
I miss the way you’d hold me right whenever something was wrong and you’d make sure I was okay. You’re my best friend. My favorite person. And love you endlessly.
I wish you were here.
I know it’s selfish but I wish I had you back.
I hate that you left me.
No matter how old you get you always need your mom.
I love you.
Xoxo neuro
The look in her eyes when she answers the phone and sees that it’s me.
The way her smile brightens when i make a goofy face.
She is love.
The way she laughs at the dump things I say.
The way she blushes when I call her out on her shit.
…when i tell her “i love you” and he smile grabs ahold of her eyes, making her eyes shine a deep green, with under-hues of blue.
She is love.
The way her light exudes from her soul… She is a master at captivating me.
Her inner beauty shines brighter than any other soul could.
She is beautiful on the outside, even though she doesn’t know it.
She is patient.
She is kind.
She is passionate.
She is strong.
SHE is LOVE.
Xoxo, Neuro
Thee past few months have been a crazy roller coaster ride. Works been crazy, working on my new relationship, applying for schools… Everything seems like it’s constantly moving faster than ever before.
I don’t remember the last time I’ve sat down and wrote anything. My mental health took a turn for the worst, and it was a struggle to wake up in the morning, a struggle to shower, a struggle to do the most basic tasks. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that I couldn’t let down the people I love. I knew that if I stayed in bed, if I gave up on life, that I wouldn’t be able to live with my self knowing that I disappointed the ones i love most in this crazy life.
Unfortunately the thing that comes to my mind next… is that even though I’m so worried about letting down the people I love.. the only personI can really count on is me. There’s no one else who will always have my back, who will be there for me no matter what.
I’ve always put everything i have, put my all into whatever significant other that I’m with at the moment. I can’t explain how amazing it is to sit here, next to my current S.O. And feel at ease.. that no matter what,,, they are helping me be the best me I can be.. They have made me realize that I need to get up out of bed, for me. I need to push to do the things that scare me.. for no one but myself. I need to do the things I want to do, do the things that I know that I want out of life, that will make me happy because no one else will do it for me.
I’m using this as a pledge to myself, that no matter what. I will apply. To colleges. I will get my degree. I’m going to write, and publish my books, and I am going to do everything I dream of. Make everything that I want happen, because of me. Because it’s what makes me happy. Because its what I want out of life. And not for what I think will impress or make the people I love happy.
XOXO, Neuro
Change is possibly my least favorite thing to experience in life.
I don’t think anyone likes change… if I’m being honest. However, the thing with life is nothing is permanent.. things are constantly changing. Life is changing. I got fired from my job.. for something out of my control. Spent a month and a half with out a job.. and finally accepted a job at my old company..
I’m excited for what the future holds. I’m in a new relationship, I’m about to start a new job, and I’m looking to move out of my current living situation. ‘
Change is scary to me… all of the what ifs.. all of the times that you just don’t know what the future holds. I would rather sit back and know everything thats going to happen that be in the dark of the future.
Today is January 1st, 2021 and I CHOOSE to live MY life as I see fit. Not how my spouse sees fit, not my parents, or my siblings. ME. I am in control and I demand that I will take my life by the reigns and make it the best one I can. I will not be subject to someone else controlling my moves, my day to day actions, my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions. I promise to my self that I am here for me, for my life, and for the future that is ahead of me. I will NOT put my self down. I will NOT take my self for granted. I will NOT let my self fall through the cracks of this universe with out putting my mark on this world.
But first, What is life?
Life. The thing we are given, not the thing we choose. Well, technically speaking. Life is the thing that we are given from the moment our parents do the deed, to the moment our life washes away. We did not chose to be here, to be a form of life on this planet we call home. Some one else chose this life for us, but once we are given this life it is not something to be taken lightly. We only have one… at a time. Some people believe in reincarnation, while others do not and that is completely up to you what you believe. None the less what ever you believe it is important to take this life we have been given and do the best we can.
We must do the best we can, not for our spouse, or for our parents, but for ourselves. This is the life we have been given, and it has been given to us for one reason or another but it is OURS. Do not take this life for granted, you chose what you make of it. CHOOSE to be happy, CHOOSE to have love. love for this life,. Love for yourself. Love your mind, your body, your soul. You only have one, and what happens if you waste the only life you have? You end up not wanting, not choosing to push foreword, not choosing to continue living this wonderful life you were given.
Starting today I promise my self that I will not judge my body, my mind, or my self worth. I am a QUEEN. I am BEAUTIFUL. I am WORTHY of LOVE and COMPASSION. And so are you. Hold your head up high, show your self the love and compassion that you deserve.
Xoxo Neuro
I haven’t posted in a bit because I’ve been going through a lot. I’m switching meds and this change has had some bad side effects. Today I had an extremely bad panic attack that almost ended my marriage… and that was scary. The littlest things are making me irritable and it scares me…
Can anyone else relate?
Xoxo💕🐨💕
Have you ever had a feeling so strong you don’t know what to do with it?
Right now that’s how I feel. I have this upset and anger building inside of me. This guilt and confusion because I hurt my s.o. Without meaning to. I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack but I’ve been doing so good.. I don’t want to take my Xanax to calm down because I’ve used them allot lately.
Help? Any ideas?
Xoxo Neuro 💕🐨
Neuro-dust 