Tag: selfworth

It’s Been A While… (Warning Word Vomit)

Thee past few months have been a crazy roller coaster ride. Works been crazy, working on my new relationship, applying for schools… Everything seems like it’s constantly moving faster than ever before.

I don’t remember the last time I’ve sat down and wrote anything. My mental health took a turn for the worst, and it was a struggle to wake up in the morning, a struggle to shower, a struggle to do the most basic tasks. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that I couldn’t let down the people I love. I knew that if I stayed in bed, if I gave up on life, that I wouldn’t be able to live with my self knowing that I disappointed the ones i love most in this crazy life.

Unfortunately the thing that comes to my mind next… is that even though I’m so worried about letting down the people I love.. the only personI can really count on is me. There’s no one else who will always have my back, who will be there for me no matter what.

I’ve always put everything i have, put my all into whatever significant other that I’m with at the moment. I can’t explain how amazing it is to sit here, next to my current S.O. And feel at ease.. that no matter what,,, they are helping me be the best me I can be.. They have made me realize that I need to get up out of bed, for me. I need to push to do the things that scare me.. for no one but myself. I need to do the things I want to do, do the things that I know that I want out of life, that will make me happy because no one else will do it for me.

I’m using this as a pledge to myself, that no matter what. I will apply. To colleges. I will get my degree. I’m going to write, and publish my books, and I am going to do everything I dream of. Make everything that I want happen, because of me. Because it’s what makes me happy. Because its what I want out of life. And not for what I think will impress or make the people I love happy.

XOXO, Neuro

Life.

Today is January 1st, 2021 and I CHOOSE to live MY life as I see fit. Not how my spouse sees fit, not my parents, or my siblings. ME. I am in control and I demand that I will take my life by the reigns and make it the best one I can. I will not be subject to someone else controlling my moves, my day to day actions, my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions. I promise to my self that I am here for me, for my life, and for the future that is ahead of me. I will NOT put my self down. I will NOT take my self for granted. I will NOT let my self fall through the cracks of this universe with out putting my mark on this world.

But first, What is life?

Life. The thing we are given, not the thing we choose. Well, technically speaking. Life is the thing that we are given from the moment our parents do the deed, to the moment our life washes away. We did not chose to be here, to be a form of life on this planet we call home. Some one else chose this life for us, but once we are given this life it is not something to be taken lightly. We only have one… at a time. Some people believe in reincarnation, while others do not and that is completely up to you what you believe. None the less what ever you believe it is important to take this life we have been given and do the best we can.

We must do the best we can, not for our spouse, or for our parents, but for ourselves. This is the life we have been given, and it has been given to us for one reason or another but it is OURS. Do not take this life for granted, you chose what you make of it. CHOOSE to be happy, CHOOSE to have love. love for this life,. Love for yourself. Love your mind, your body, your soul. You only have one, and what happens if you waste the only life you have? You end up not wanting, not choosing to push foreword, not choosing to continue living this wonderful life you were given.

Starting today I promise my self that I will not judge my body, my mind, or my self worth. I am a QUEEN. I am BEAUTIFUL. I am WORTHY of LOVE and COMPASSION. And so are you. Hold your head up high, show your self the love and compassion that you deserve.

Xoxo Neuro